Respect.

Moving to Melbourne after living in Canberra for a fair few years was exciting and hard on many different aspects. One major concern when I moved 1.5 years ago was friends. I had had the same friends for a while now, they were familiar and I was comfortable.

What I failed to realise when I was younger but understand now is the quality of the people you surround yourself with. 

Some of this, I realised during the last years of my undergraduate degree where I voluntarily drifted from the people who were toxic in my life. They added nothing but pain, they didn’t make me a better person and they definitely did not make me happy. 

It’s funny because when you are a child you struggle to differentiate good friends from bad friends. You just long to be friends with everyone, be loved and liked, most importantly, have someone to play with at lunch.

We are taught that having friends is important, but we are not taught how to be good friends or to tell the difference from good and bad friends. Or that it is okay to walk away without seeming weak. We are not taught how to respect ourselves and because of this so many children get hurt by their ‘friends’ everyday.

Because of this I only learnt to walk away from people who shouldn’t have had a place in my life, a few years ago.

Today, I find myself saying no to gatherings with people who I don’t feel my best self around without hesitation. Today I know that if I don’t find the quality in relationships, it probably isn’t worth my time. Today I know that if I am in doubt, the answer is probably no. Today I know how to respect myself but I wish I learnt that long time ago. 

This does not mean I do not give people a chance, I do, it just means I trust my intuition. It means I cherish every moment with people who make me happy, enlighten me and spark joy. And the ones who make me feel uncomfortable or put negative thoughts in my head, are kept a little further away.

I am sure that some people feel the same about me too, but that is okay.

The key is to show appreciation, love and respect to those who treat you with the same regard. The people who don’t like you? Well that’s okay, because no one can like everyone.

Quality over Quantity. 

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5 things I am grateful for today:

Lazy days in – I was supposed to do my assignment, I sort of did but it was mostly a lazy day in.

Youtube – Man, do you hold a wealth of free knowledge!

Coffee – I wasn’t drinking coffee for a while but the cold weather has sparked a new love for it!

Creativity – Just loving my creative thoughts lately.

Nature – while sitting in my bedroom, I observed the changing weather all day long, it was beautiful.

Till again ♥

Without you, there is no us.

January 2016 – Sri Lanka

In times of stress and worry, I fail to look after myself. Sometimes the pressures of life make it seem as though you come last, everything else matters but you. I am here to tell you and myself that this is not true, even though you may feel otherwise.

Whatever your worries and/or stresses may be, there are some things we all have to do to take care of ourselves. Not only will these things alleviate your stress but also prompt you to formulate more logical, objective and structured answers to your problems.

1. Eat – nourish your body to nourish your mind. Eating is vital. Your brain is already on overdrive in times of stress, not eating will cause a malfunction. So do not forget to eat. Balanced meals would be ideal, but eating in general is a good place to start. (unless you are a stress eater, which in this case probably doesn’t apply to you)
2. Sleep – my simple rule when making big decisions or when trying to get through something, is sleep. No better way is there to shut yourself off for a few minutes or hours, to rest and settle and approach the problem with a better mindset.
3. Go outside – extremely overlooked when stressed is nature and the calmness it can bring. I find going for a walk (doesn’t have to be long) and focusing on the sky, trees (especially leaves) and the weather extremely relaxing. It also puts things into perspective, that this world is full of great simple things, you just have to notice them.
4. Take a shower or bath – this is almost ritualistic to me. After a really bad day or situation, I take a shower almost to signify getting rid of negative emotions and thoughts and moving on refreshed.
5. Read a book – sometimes I know that my problems are small and easy to deal with but I am still upset and overwhelmed, I have a go to book called ‘Opening the Door of Your Heart: And Other Buddhist Tales of Happiness’ by Ajahn Brahm who is an English buddhist monk that writes short thoughtful, quirky and light stories that gives you a change of heart. That is just my go to, whatever works for you is good.
6. Journal/write things down – Externalising your feelings and thoughts is so helpful when you are overwhelmed and confused. You can reflect on what you have written and even make your own prompts/questions to answer, to better understand how you are feeling. I journal a few times a week and this space is also an outlet for me, writing what I am going through is a release.

 

And those are my 6 strategies that may or may not work for you, but they work for me. There are many others and not every problem in life can be solved with these. I acknowledge some problems are extremely complex and terrible, but for day to day get downs, these work well.

Take care of yourself and love yourself, you are important. 

Love.

It’s been a few days, we’ve been apart.

I see his broad smile, as I’m coming in.

Arms open wide, a warm embrace, a hug.

Our eyes meet, our souls enmesh.

We hold hands, we laugh, we talk,

We sneak a kiss.

Mothers.

To the strongest women, I dedicate this post to you.

You are all inspirational. The sacrifices you make, the hardships you encounter and how you continue to love endlessly and unconditionally through it all, I am yet to understand. 

From the moment you decide to have a child, you give yourself up as a person and you become two people, a difficult but empowering transition that many women of this world choose to make.

Sometimes, I think of my own mother, all the times she has had to remain strong for her children, the emotional strength she must have to continually love and smile to prove to her children that everything is alright.

I do not disregard the role of fathers, who make an equal contribution to their children, to those fathers who fill the gap of absent mothers. To those mothers, who are not mothers by blood but through love and compassion. To those sisters and brothers who are more like mothers to siblings when parents are missing. To anyone who has had to love, care and support a child, you are champions.

Happy Mother’s Day! Without you, we would not be!

5 things I am grateful for:

1. My mother
2. Homemade coffee – was good if not better than cafe coffee.
3. Old family photos
4. Sisters – during difficult times, who else would I turn to.
5. Boyfriend – for always being supportive and kind.

 

Almost Quarter Life Review.

2014 Prague, Czech Republic – Charles Bridge, One of the most beautiful places I have been. 

In the past 24 years I have learnt to talk, walk, understand, run, swim, ride a bicycle, read, write, eat solid food, be social, be alone, be in relationships, be a sister, be a friend, be a daughter, be an enemy, to cry, to be strong, to work, to sit exams, to work in groups, to draw, to colour, to knit, to cut, to cook, to bake, to drive, to travel, to appreciate, to love, to hate, to dance, to start over, to fail, to pick myself back up, to be confident, to be passionate, to be me.

Don’t ever underestimate how much you have done in your life. Those small things matter. Learning to crawl made sure I could run. Learning to talk made sure I could communicate. Learning to hold relationships, gave me family and friends. Learning to read gave me a wealth of knowledge.

Each of us is on our own path, if you have done most of the things above, you are going in the right direction.

I hope in the next 25 years, I will continue to be bold, live with intent and purpose, love unconditionally and accept, respect and follow my passions. If I do that, that is enough. 

Today I am grateful to have made it to 24. To be alive with this life I have been given, that I owe to my parents. Thank you for everything you have done and continue to do.  

Acceptance.

26th of January 2017 Chinese New Year Festival in Melbourne – Decorated in bright red lights, the banks of Yarra River glittered as people gathered to celebrate the year of the Rooster. 

Growing up in a western culture is particularly difficult when you are ethnic.

You are often stuck between who your parents want you to be and who you want to be – a construct of you that is a mix between your past, culture and traditions intertwined with the open mindedness and acceptance of modern western culture.

To my parents most things I do are wrong. If it wasn’t what they were used to, how they were brought up or what they saw around them, it was wrong. I get it, thats their frame of reference.

Because of this divide, I often struggled with acceptance. Feeling accepted by my parents is something I will never gain, a permanent hole in my life that I will always need to filled. Coming at their loss, they will never really know me. They will only know the part of me they want to know which is also the part of me I only show. 

Throughout history humanity has worked hard to be accepted. Usually women, those of colour, different religions or races have fought with honour to feel accepted. Today we are still fighting. 

I am sure each and every one of us has an acceptance battle of our own. Feeling accepted lets you belong. A sense of belonging is vital for emotional wellbeing.

Is there a way we can all feel accepted without receiving external confirmation of this in our everyday lives? If there is I would love to know.

I would love to live knowing that my parents love all of me for who I am, not just the part that turned out the way they wanted.

I think my children will have it easier. I will strive to make it easier for them. This mental struggle, being pushed and pulled between two worlds is exhausting and unnecessary. I want to cultivate an environment where my children can express their feelings, talk about their concerns and be treated like adults when they are and to feel accepted for whoever they turn out to be. Kids are a couple of years down the track for me but I am so ready to mesh two brilliant cultures that have enriched me, find the best parts and propel them into the future. 

I hope that each and every one us teaches our kids to be better, to accept differences, to respect others and grow in a way to create a more peaceful future. 

Make love not war. 

5 things I am grateful for today:

1. Letters – I used to write a lot of letters to a close friend of mine a few years back, I spent all of today re reading the letters she sent me, every word brought me back in time and comforted me.
2. To be alive.
3. This painting I have on my bed room wall – Ts a picture of autumn, mostly read, orange and yellow leaves with a dirt path. A single bicycle rider riding away. For some reason this picture relaxes me whenever I look at it. My sister bought it for my birthday, it is beautiful.
4. Nature
5. Parents – Despite our differences, not a day goes by where I don’t think of the hardships and sacrifices they have been through so I could have this life.

Till Tomorrow.

Sisters.

 

Distance makes the heart grow fonder.

This statement is true for me. I feel like it took me 23 years to figure out who my truest best friends are. This whole time they were right in front of me.

I have fond childhood memories of my sisters and I have some ugly ones too, not too ugly but general sibling rivalry. As we got older I think it was each others unique but annoying habits that bothered us the most, all three of us vastly different from one another although raised almost identically by our parents.

I always shared my friendship troubles through my schooling life with my older sister, I come home and I vent. My sister was in her final years of school experiencing a lot of pressure and expectations and here I was rambling about my life. I don’t think I knew much about her then but I know that she listened to everything I said. I don’t remember her responses but the listening she did made all the difference to my life. Looking back I understand the importance of such a small act and I appreciate that now. 

I don’t have many memories of my younger sister, as at the time I was young too. I know that she was stubborn and she still is but she has evolved dramatically in the last few years, I couldn’t be more proud of her. She isn’t very affectionate, none of us are, at least not in a ‘i love you’, lets hug each other all the time kind of way, but we talk, we fight and no matter what we got, we always shared it into 3.

My parents were always against junk food (thank you for feeding us fresh fruits and vegetables), so when we did get our hands on something sweet, we divide it into 3. I remember once cutting a lollipop into 3, an impossible task but we all got almost evenly cut pieces, I think the kitchen floor got some too. One time there was a bit of coca cola left after a party, I took a calculator and measuring cup out, and distributing 3 equal quantities for us to enjoy.

I know laying it out like that sounds like we were deprived children but we never were. We all learnt a very important quality that is present in all of us despite our differences and that is to always share. On a deeper level, to always think of others, be selfless and know that there is always enough to go around.

My sisters are lifelong best friends, who will always be there for me no matter what. As my dad always says ‘you have to look out for one another, we won’t always be there’, I think he has taught us well on how to. 

5 things I am grateful for:

1. My sisters.
2. Education – I am so thankful to be educated, sadly there are so many in this modern world who are still illetrate which results in so many disadvantages.
3. Afternoon naps.
4. Nature – Today is a lovely blue skied day with a cool breeze.
5. Colouring in book trend.

Till Tomorrow.

Adventure #1

19th of January 2017 Cape Otway National Park, Victoria, Australia – This year is for experiences, so for my boyfriends birthday, I took him on an experience. Zip lining through this amazing forest, appreciating nature, pausing to live a little and breathe. This adventure was spectacular.

These trees are majestic.

They stand tall,

They show power and wisdom.

They intimidate and inspire me.

Watching the leaves moving in the wind,

Graceful and elegant,

Still.

5 things I am grateful for today:

1. My car – thank you for allowing me to travel to places with mountains and trees when I get tired of the city.
2. My camera – so thankful that I live in an age where every moment can be captured, treasured and remembered.
3. The sun – curling up and napping where the suns rays are strong and warm is one of my favourite passtimes.
4. Nature – absolutely breathtaking.
5. My boyfriend – for always being appreciative and grateful.