I’m not lost, I’m on my way.

 

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19th November 2017 – Mount Kosciuszko, Thredbo Australia – One of my goals this year was to climb to the summit of Mt. Kosciuszko, time and weather didn’t allow but I made it as far as I could, turned back and made it an adventure for another day. 

 

As exciting as new beginnings can be, it also brings confusions to where you want to go. It feels as though we are supposed to have it all figured out. But I don’t. I saw the following phrase/poem on Facebook, I loved the change in perspective and carefree nature of it:-

I stopped telling myself that I’m lost,

I’m not.

I’m on a road with no destination, I’m just driving with hope that I’ll find a place that I like and I’ll stay there.

I’m not lost, I’m on my way. 

~ Ahunnaya

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5 things I am grateful for today:

the stormy weather

opportunities, possibilities

days off work

life

nature

 

 

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Spring & Health

18 days into the month of spring but today was the first day signs of spring were in the air. It was warmer, the wind was fierce and musty as it carry’s particles of pollen on a journey to a place to begin anew. Spring makes me feel happy and light and just as it is new beginnings for nature, it feels like new beginnings to me too.

2 days ago I decided to stop putting a price on my health. There was an exercise regime I have wanted to commit to for awhile now however the price tag pushes me away. I am generally healthy, I try to be however over the past year I have definitely had too many meals that don’t do much benefit to my body and I am starting to feel the consequences.

I put all the guilt that comes with investing in my health aside and signed up for it. It’s funny because I’ve probably spent many dollars on gym memberships and never gone or not made the most of it without feeling guilty. I decided that I rather pay for something more expensive that I know that I will do than something that isn’t, which I won’t end up using anyway.

Money is complicated and I am trying to develop a healthier, richer mindset about money. I think not putting a price tag on my physical or mental wellbeing is a step in the right direction. Afterall, putting in the effort to be healthy now, means less bills later in life, bills that will probably come in big lumps. Your body is all you have got till the end of your life, it can enhance the way you live or limit it and you are stuck with so it so best take care of it.

So what shifted my mindset?

  • Reading ‘How not to die’ by Dr. Michel Greger – He goes through the top non-communicable diseases in society, addressing why they are present and then how to lessen the chances of an early death.
  • Downloading Dr. Michel Greger’s Daily Dozen app (it’s free) – it provides a rough estimate of how much fruits, vegetables, nuts and all the good stuff you need daily to maintain your health. The more things you tick off the list, the better your gut will feel.
  • Reading ‘You are a badass at making money’ by Jen Sincero – I don’t agree with all she says but I have taken on board the good bits. I have become aware of my own negative mindset when it comes to money and am slowly shifting it.
  • Reading ‘Gut’ by Guilia Enders – this book provides the science behind how your gut works, the mechanisms and its importance in our function as humans.

I don’t think any one of these resources on it’s own would have really helped me. I think it’s the combination and holisitic understanding I have now that has shifted my mindset. I am so glad because better late than never plus my degree is coming to an end so fulltime work means i’ll have to manage an income wisely. No better time to learn about money and health than now.

(Note: Only spend money on things that are within your means. Just like your health, your finances are important too. If you want to pay for something that you feel you can’t afford, perhaps analuse your spendings and see what ‘luxury’ items you can sacrifice to allow space for other things in your life. That is what I did. )

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5 things I am grateful for today:

Spring

My Determination

Relaxing days

Being alive

Books, books, books

 

 

Breathe.

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breathe in, love.

breathe out, hate. 

breathe in, gratitude.

breathe out, resentment.

breathe in, joy.

breathe out, hostility. 

breathe in.

breathe out.

Clarity. Carefree. Content. 

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5 things I am grateful for today:

Life

Love

Simplicity

Chance to relax

Books that are practical

Possibilities.

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The year coming to a close has been stressful for the past few years. It comes with so much uncertainty. This year marks the final step before I enter the professional world and embark on an adventure that will hopefully allow me to help others while I continually grow.

For the past month, I have been worrying about what my life will look like next year or even after November. I picture it and all I can imagine is emptiness. I don’t know where I’ll live or what job I’ll be doing, (or if I’ll have a job at all) if I’ll be travelling or if I’ll find another volunteering opportunity. Such simple things that are all in my control causing me so much misery, because I let it. 

I know the worrying is wasteful and the stress that comes with it I can definitely do without but I still continue to wonder with anxiousness what my life will look like.

The uncertainty is perplexing; should I not feel like the possibilities are endless and be excited about the certainty that anything could happen! In fact, I should be grateful and feel privileged that I have options, my path is not set and it never will be. I do have control.

Upon reflection, I know that the life I have now and who I am, I could have never dreamed up 5 years ago. I can imagine and wonder about my future for the rest of my life but as I live it every moment, my imagination will never be a mirror image of reality, it can’t be, uncertainty is life’s beauty.

It is so hard to shut that worry button right off, be in the moment and be content with whatever will be, will be. 

I will aim to think of all the possibilities than lack of and let life run its course like it always has regardless of my worrying thoughts. 

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5 things I am grateful for today:

The time I get to spend with different children while on placement – I love their honest, innocent and genuine personalities.

Freedom to learn – I am constantly exploring new modes of learning and new things to learn. I am grateful for the evolution of learning and the freedom to do so. 

Grateful for life and the opportunities it has brought me thus far. 

I am grateful to have had a supervisor who was present, interested in my learning process as well as learning with me in an interactive, joyful and carefree manner.

I am grateful for growth. 

Till soon?

 

National BestFriend Day.

 

Apparently, yesterday (8th of June) was National Best Friend’s Day so I thought it would be nice to write a post to remember and thank my best friends through the years.

I recently scrapped the idea that you can only have one best friend. It was limiting and in actual fact, I had many good friends who are all important to me and who all the deserve the label of ‘best friend’.

Growing up I never had many friends, I was very shy and never approached anyone unless talked to.

Today, I want to thank the one friend who broke my shell and helped me shine through with confidence. I believe that meeting her was life changing for me, the course of my whole life changed because I was transformed as a person. I was finally not afraid to be me. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for giving me everything by just being you.

Next, to the friends that listen and give me logical and honest advice – you help me out of the deepest of wells by giving nothing but an ear.

To the friends, whom I can talk for hours about everything but people – you are gems, you inspire me and show me the goodness in this world. Just by communicating your thoughts and ideas about the world, not the individual people in it.

To the friends who are far, but feel so close – how we manage to bridge continents and have a solid relationship, is beyond me. Not everyone can find the time to tend to those who are not physically present – for that you are special.

To the friends who I can have countless adventures with, whether it is travelling, hikes or visiting the newest cafes, thank you for sharing your wanderlust with me.

To my boyfriend for being all those friends in one – I appreciate every moment.

And lastly, to my sisters, who were my first best friends, who will continue to always be now and forever.

Happy National BestFriend Day!

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5 things I am grateful for today:

The Sun – you came out today, and you decided to stay, shining through my window and warming up my room!

Leaves – I just love looking at leaves in the wind, it is so calming.

All my friends!

Past self – I often find that my past self is a lot more organised than I give her credit for, making the self now have less work!

The library – you are so warm and calm!

six-month review.

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So it has been six months since January 2017 and I feel a review is necessary to keep track of how things have been going in general, things I have learned and what will be happening moving forward. 

Firstly, I came into this year, hoping it would be better and that was a big mistake. Not because it wasn’t better, but because I had too many expectations, ones that weren’t realistic. I realise that things do not get better or worse, just different. The obstacles I was faced with last year were bad and this year I was faced with some bad ones too but they were just different.

1.The expectation of having a ‘happier’ future just because you change a thing or two is unrealistic because the future is what it is regardless of your expectations. We just need to focus on being happy moment to moment.

The next biggest challenge for the first half of this year has been around relationships. Twenty-seventeen started out rocky with my friends and family, things mended, but are not exactly the same. I sat around questioning everything and everyone around me because all of a sudden nothing seemed the same.

2. Relationships take moments to break and years to build. Communicating is the best way to get things across, especially uncomfortable things. Do not give people the chance to assume how you feel or what you are thinking, TELL THEM. Clear up the air, don’t sit in resentment or hate. Move forward with or without that person in your life. Expect change for better or worse because everything is impermanent. 

Next, is a discovery.

3. You can do anything. I really put my mind to staying balanced and healthy for the first few months of the year and every part of my life improved with a simple change of going for a 30-minute run/walk in the morning. We doubt our abilities/capabilities so much and never give ourselves a chance to even try and learn that you can do anything you put your mind to. 

So amongst those 3 things, I have learnt a lot more but those are the 3 takeaways. Moving forward, I handed my last assignment in yesterday. Only one semester left!

I will be heading to placement next week for 3 months and I really hope it is going to be good and enlightening. And I know that I am the only thing in between having a good or bad experience.

After that, I have a final 8 weeks of university before I am done forever! It is scary but I can’t wait to finally do something I’ve wanted to do (even though I might not get there at first, baby steps). I am excited to not think about money all the time (seriously exhausting being a student). I am also excited to just be on a different journey.

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5 things I am grateful for today:

My ability to write assignments quickly in small bursts!

Reflection – the power of reflection is extraordinary.

I am grateful to have a week off before starting placement!

I am grateful for the gloomy skies because they give beautiful sunrises/sunsets.

Nature.

Respect.

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Moving to Melbourne after living in Canberra for a fair few years was exciting and hard on many different aspects. One major concern when I moved 1.5 years ago was friends. I had had the same friends for a while now, they were familiar and I was comfortable.

What I failed to realise when I was younger but understand now is the quality of the people you surround yourself with. 

Some of this, I realised during the last years of my undergraduate degree where I voluntarily drifted from the people who were toxic in my life. They added nothing but pain, they didn’t make me a better person and they definitely did not make me happy. 

It’s funny because when you are a child you struggle to differentiate good friends from bad friends. You just long to be friends with everyone, be loved and liked, most importantly, have someone to play with at lunch.

We are taught that having friends is important, but we are not taught how to be good friends or to tell the difference from good and bad friends. Or that it is okay to walk away without seeming weak. We are not taught how to respect ourselves and because of this so many children get hurt by their ‘friends’ everyday.

Because of this I only learnt to walk away from people who shouldn’t have had a place in my life, a few years ago.

Today, I find myself saying no to gatherings with people who I don’t feel my best self around without hesitation. Today I know that if I don’t find the quality in relationships, it probably isn’t worth my time. Today I know that if I am in doubt, the answer is probably no. Today I know how to respect myself but I wish I learnt that long time ago. 

This does not mean I do not give people a chance, I do, it just means I trust my intuition. It means I cherish every moment with people who make me happy, enlighten me and spark joy. And the ones who make me feel uncomfortable or put negative thoughts in my head, are kept a little further away.

I am sure that some people feel the same about me too, but that is okay.

The key is to show appreciation, love and respect to those who treat you with the same regard. The people who don’t like you? Well that’s okay, because no one can like everyone.

Quality over Quantity. 

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5 things I am grateful for today:

Lazy days in – I was supposed to do my assignment, I sort of did but it was mostly a lazy day in.

Youtube – Man, do you hold a wealth of free knowledge!

Coffee – I wasn’t drinking coffee for a while but the cold weather has sparked a new love for it!

Creativity – Just loving my creative thoughts lately.

Nature – while sitting in my bedroom, I observed the changing weather all day long, it was beautiful.

Till again ♥