Respect.

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Moving to Melbourne after living in Canberra for a fair few years was exciting and hard on many different aspects. One major concern when I moved 1.5 years ago was friends. I had had the same friends for a while now, they were familiar and I was comfortable.

What I failed to realise when I was younger but understand now is the quality of the people you surround yourself with. 

Some of this, I realised during the last years of my undergraduate degree where I voluntarily drifted from the people who were toxic in my life. They added nothing but pain, they didn’t make me a better person and they definitely did not make me happy. 

It’s funny because when you are a child you struggle to differentiate good friends from bad friends. You just long to be friends with everyone, be loved and liked, most importantly, have someone to play with at lunch.

We are taught that having friends is important, but we are not taught how to be good friends or to tell the difference from good and bad friends. Or that it is okay to walk away without seeming weak. We are not taught how to respect ourselves and because of this so many children get hurt by their ‘friends’ everyday.

Because of this I only learnt to walk away from people who shouldn’t have had a place in my life, a few years ago.

Today, I find myself saying no to gatherings with people who I don’t feel my best self around without hesitation. Today I know that if I don’t find the quality in relationships, it probably isn’t worth my time. Today I know that if I am in doubt, the answer is probably no. Today I know how to respect myself but I wish I learnt that long time ago. 

This does not mean I do not give people a chance, I do, it just means I trust my intuition. It means I cherish every moment with people who make me happy, enlighten me and spark joy. And the ones who make me feel uncomfortable or put negative thoughts in my head, are kept a little further away.

I am sure that some people feel the same about me too, but that is okay.

The key is to show appreciation, love and respect to those who treat you with the same regard. The people who don’t like you? Well that’s okay, because no one can like everyone.

Quality over Quantity. 

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5 things I am grateful for today:

Lazy days in – I was supposed to do my assignment, I sort of did but it was mostly a lazy day in.

Youtube – Man, do you hold a wealth of free knowledge!

Coffee – I wasn’t drinking coffee for a while but the cold weather has sparked a new love for it!

Creativity – Just loving my creative thoughts lately.

Nature – while sitting in my bedroom, I observed the changing weather all day long, it was beautiful.

Till again ♥

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Cooking.

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So I like to think I’m not that lazy but I discovered the extent to my laziness today when I decided to challenge myself to cook dinner for my boyfriend and myself enough to last two meals each, in 1 hour!

I had a dish in mind that I had found online from a favourite youtuber of mine (pickuplimes) but was lazy to buy the ingredients earlier in the day.

So I had an hour, to buy ingredients, head home, cook and pack the food before I had to go out again.

For the majority of the time I felt like I was on ready, steady, cook! If I was on the show, I would have finished way before time was up!

I managed to make two batches because the first batch ended up being too spicy (which my boyfriend wouldn’t have been able to consume), so I made him another batch!

What I ended up with was probably a weeks worth of lunch for me and about 2 lunches for my boyfriend, all in 25 dollars (with ingredients to spare!).

So my true reflection comes from the fact that I spent double that money on the same day last week (silly I know) on uber eats for two meals!

So what did I relearn that I already knew but choose to ignore?

1. Ordering/eating up is a good way to end up with no money!

2. I am lazy- that’s right, everytime I make an excuse to not cook, it’s pure laziness.

3. Cooking takes no time at all – I made meals for two people in less than an hour!

4. It’s surprisingly soothing to cook when you are in the zone.

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5 things I am grateful for today:

  1. Productivity – unlike the weekend, I was able to complete two assignments, one more to go and I am done for the semester!
  2. Creativity – I am not usually a super creative person , I definitely can’t think of things out of the ordinary but right now for some reason I am pretty switched on. 
  3. Books – as always, they continue to enlighten me in unimaginable ways. 
  4. Cooking – I am grateful that I can cook, when I am not being lazy about it!
  5. Nature – just beautiful. 

Till again.

Without you, there is no us.

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January 2016 – Sri Lanka

In times of stress and worry, I fail to look after myself. Sometimes the pressures of life make it seem as though you come last, everything else matters but you. I am here to tell you and myself that this is not true, even though you may feel otherwise.

Whatever your worries and/or stresses may be, there are some things we all have to do to take care of ourselves. Not only will these things alleviate your stress but also prompt you to formulate more logical, objective and structured answers to your problems.

  1. Eat – nourish your body to nourish your mind. Eating is vital. Your brain is already on overdrive in times of stress, not eating will cause a malfunction. So do not forget to eat. Balanced meals would be ideal, but eating in general is a good place to start. (unless you are a stress eater, which in this case probably doesn’t apply to you)
  2. Sleep – my simple rule when making big decisions or when trying to get through something, is sleep. No better way is there to shut yourself off for a few minutes or hours, to rest and settle and approach the problem with a better mindset.
  3. Go outside – extremely overlooked when stressed is nature and the calmness it can bring. I find going for a walk (doesn’t have to be long) and focusing on the sky, trees (especially leaves) and the weather extremely relaxing. It also puts things into perspective, that this world is full of great simple things, you just have to notice them.
  4. Take a shower or bath – this is almost ritualistic to me. After a really bad day or situation, I take a shower almost to signify getting rid of negative emotions and thoughts and moving on refreshed.
  5. Read a book – sometimes I know that my problems are small and easy to deal with but I am still upset and overwhelmed, I have a go to book called ‘Opening the Door of Your Heart: And Other Buddhist Tales of Happiness’ by Ajahn Brahm who is an English buddhist monk that writes short thoughtful, quirky and light stories that gives you a change of heart. That is just my go to, whatever works for you is good.
  6. Journal/write things down – Externalising your feelings and thoughts is so helpful when you are overwhelmed and confused. You can reflect on what you have written and even make your own prompts/questions to answer, to better understand how you are feeling. I journal a few times a week and this space is also an outlet for me, writing what I am going through is a release.

 

And those are my 6 strategies that may or may not work for you, but they work for me. There are many others and not every problem in life can be solved with these. I acknowledge some problems are extremely complex and terrible, but for day to day get downs, these work well.

Take care of yourself and love yourself, you are important. 

Rumination.

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I am always surprised with the way people are, or more so who are they.

Do people only act in a way to always only benefit themselves?

Have I been too sheltered?

Are people truly evil on the inside?

I am evil?

I am constantly hurt by words, I don’t want to be, I want to be stronger. 

How do I become stronger?

Perhaps it is time to stop ruminating.

Rumination kills the soul.

Rumination causes depression.

Rumination is the enemy, not people.

Nothing is good or bad, thinking makes it so, right?

I think it is time for some meditation!

5 things I am grateful for today:

My boyfriend – he never fails to support and broaden my perspective on who I am, constantly reminding me to shed the self-doubt, up the self-love and believe in myself and who I am.

Pizza – just deliciously bad of you, mmm.

Outdoors – Although it has been quite cold, I enjoy the autumn leaves in the wind and cold air on my face. It is refreshing in times where I feel trapped to be outside.

Uni friends – never have I met such great supportive and genuine people.

this blog – although it isn’t much, it is my release to a world that is private yet public, I feel free and not judged.

Taken for granted.

Sometimes I feel like I am taken for granted, taken advantage of and not appreciated. 

These are terrible things to feel so I have decided to redirect my feelings to remind myself of the things most of us take granted for in life and to appreciate these things.

  1. Garbage collectors – most of you wake in the early morning hours before the rest of the city to collect our waste. You ensure cleanliness, hygiene and overall beauty of our surroundings.
  2. Teachers – personally I have always had a level of respect for teachers, whether it be a cultural thing or just my appreciation towards them but they deal with a lot, are constantly under pressure and under paid. Education is the cure to most issues in this world, so without our teachers/mentors/lecturers, knowledge would struggle to be passed on.
  3. Mothers and Fathers – The countless and altruistic efforts of my mother and father to take care of their family is admirable.
  4. Freedom – Although some may argue none of us are really ‘free’, I am free compared to the many others in this world, past and present.
  5. Safety – I come from an area that is relatively safe, I can walk out and not feel scared. Unfortunately, sometimes terrible things do happen but right now the chances of that are low for me.
  6. Opportunities – everyday we dismiss opportunities because it isn’t the opportunity we wanted, but we must be grateful that we even got the choice to decline an opportunity.
  7. Home – I am lucky enough to call 3 places home; my home in Melbourne, my parents home in Canberra and my family home in Sri Lanka. I have a place to go back to every night, to be safe and warm and that should never go unappreciated.
  8. Food – the ability to walk into your kitchen, shop or restaurant and grab any food you may please is a blessing.
  9. Free time – These days we spend a lot of time in front of screens aimlessly scrolling through social media, our free time dwindles into nothing and we also feel like we are always running out of time.
  10. Sun – I definitely don’t appreciate the sun enough. I love the sun and on gloomy days I complain but fail to go out enough on sunny days.

Adventure #4

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Another day, another adventure. 

Located not far from Gisborne near the Macedon Ranges is Trentham waterfall, approximately 1.5 hours north from the city of Melbourne.

Leaving midday, we travelled through the city, plain grassland, beautiful rural towns before arriving at the fall, that is hidden away in the forest.

The air is clean and crisp at the falls, consciously breathing is a must to truly appreciate and feel alive.

The soil is damp and the rocks are loosening as mother nature shifts and evolves through time. So be careful.

The day was splendid and spent in good company.

 

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Being Alive.

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This morning I woke up feeling unusual. If I was going to describe it, I would say that I didn’t feel alive. I don’t mean in a breathing way, but internally, I didn’t feel much.

I wasn’t motivated to start my day, I was tired, I wasn’t particularly excited about anything short or long term. It just felt like another typical day that I believe most of us live because we have to and that is what we do.

I didn’t want to go to attend my classes, or get out of bed, I didn’t want to think of what to eat or the assignments I have waiting for me to complete, I honestly didn’t want to think. Having a little peace in this world, peace from your own thoughts, is hard to come by and that was all I wanted. Constantly feeling the push and pull from everything that I HAVE TO DO is exhausting. Is there a time when humans don’t HAVE TO DO anything? 

Becoming aware and assessing these feelings is tough. Self-awareness is hard in itself but being able to critically reflect on your own emotions as they are happening is a skill that we all continually learn through life.

First, I thought maybe I am lazy or depressed and need to figure my shit out. Then I realised that this is normal, not wanting to do is normal, people just do things anyway because they have to. There aren’t many times in life where you don’t have to do anything, so I told myself to relax, nothing is wrong with me, wanting peace is normal and I didn’t do anything but catch up with an old friend over some tea.

Today, was a day where packing your things and going on a new adventure anywhere, near or far, would have been ideal. It would have made me feel alive, broken routine and changed perspective.

I hope I can do that soon, I want to feel alive because what is the point of life, if you aren’t quiet living?

All of us should incorporate things that make us feel ALIVE into our lives, whatever it may be, because amongst the hustle and bustle we forget that we should do things we want to do, not just do things we have to do!

5 things I am grateful for:

  1. Tea and good friends.
  2. Thoughtful conversations.
  3. My onesie – because it’s cold out and it’s warm.
  4. Support – to anyone who has supported me through life!
  5. Life.

Till again!