Rumination.

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I am always surprised with the way people are, or more so who are they.

Do people only act in a way to always only benefit themselves?

Have I been too sheltered?

Are people truly evil on the inside?

I am evil?

I am constantly hurt by words, I don’t want to be, I want to be stronger. 

How do I become stronger?

Perhaps it is time to stop ruminating.

Rumination kills the soul.

Rumination causes depression.

Rumination is the enemy, not people.

Nothing is good or bad, thinking makes it so, right?

I think it is time for some meditation!

5 things I am grateful for today:

My boyfriend – he never fails to support and broaden my perspective on who I am, constantly reminding me to shed the self-doubt, up the self-love and believe in myself and who I am.

Pizza – just deliciously bad of you, mmm.

Outdoors – Although it has been quite cold, I enjoy the autumn leaves in the wind and cold air on my face. It is refreshing in times where I feel trapped to be outside.

Uni friends – never have I met such great supportive and genuine people.

this blog – although it isn’t much, it is my release to a world that is private yet public, I feel free and not judged.

Taken for granted.

Sometimes I feel like I am taken for granted, taken advantage of and not appreciated. 

These are terrible things to feel so I have decided to redirect my feelings to remind myself of the things most of us take granted for in life and to appreciate these things.

  1. Garbage collectors – most of you wake in the early morning hours before the rest of the city to collect our waste. You ensure cleanliness, hygiene and overall beauty of our surroundings.
  2. Teachers – personally I have always had a level of respect for teachers, whether it be a cultural thing or just my appreciation towards them but they deal with a lot, are constantly under pressure and under paid. Education is the cure to most issues in this world, so without our teachers/mentors/lecturers, knowledge would struggle to be passed on.
  3. Mothers and Fathers – The countless and altruistic efforts of my mother and father to take care of their family is admirable.
  4. Freedom – Although some may argue none of us are really ‘free’, I am free compared to the many others in this world, past and present.
  5. Safety – I come from an area that is relatively safe, I can walk out and not feel scared. Unfortunately, sometimes terrible things do happen but right now the chances of that are low for me.
  6. Opportunities – everyday we dismiss opportunities because it isn’t the opportunity we wanted, but we must be grateful that we even got the choice to decline an opportunity.
  7. Home – I am lucky enough to call 3 places home; my home in Melbourne, my parents home in Canberra and my family home in Sri Lanka. I have a place to go back to every night, to be safe and warm and that should never go unappreciated.
  8. Food – the ability to walk into your kitchen, shop or restaurant and grab any food you may please is a blessing.
  9. Free time – These days we spend a lot of time in front of screens aimlessly scrolling through social media, our free time dwindles into nothing and we also feel like we are always running out of time.
  10. Sun – I definitely don’t appreciate the sun enough. I love the sun and on gloomy days I complain but fail to go out enough on sunny days.

Adventure #4

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Another day, another adventure. 

Located not far from Gisborne near the Macedon Ranges is Trentham waterfall, approximately 1.5 hours north from the city of Melbourne.

Leaving midday, we travelled through the city, plain grassland, beautiful rural towns before arriving at the fall, that is hidden away in the forest.

The air is clean and crisp at the falls, consciously breathing is a must to truly appreciate and feel alive.

The soil is damp and the rocks are loosening as mother nature shifts and evolves through time. So be careful.

The day was splendid and spent in good company.

 

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Being Alive.

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This morning I woke up feeling unusual. If I was going to describe it, I would say that I didn’t feel alive. I don’t mean in a breathing way, but internally, I didn’t feel much.

I wasn’t motivated to start my day, I was tired, I wasn’t particularly excited about anything short or long term. It just felt like another typical day that I believe most of us live because we have to and that is what we do.

I didn’t want to go to attend my classes, or get out of bed, I didn’t want to think of what to eat or the assignments I have waiting for me to complete, I honestly didn’t want to think. Having a little peace in this world, peace from your own thoughts, is hard to come by and that was all I wanted. Constantly feeling the push and pull from everything that I HAVE TO DO is exhausting. Is there a time when humans don’t HAVE TO DO anything? 

Becoming aware and assessing these feelings is tough. Self-awareness is hard in itself but being able to critically reflect on your own emotions as they are happening is a skill that we all continually learn through life.

First, I thought maybe I am lazy or depressed and need to figure my shit out. Then I realised that this is normal, not wanting to do is normal, people just do things anyway because they have to. There aren’t many times in life where you don’t have to do anything, so I told myself to relax, nothing is wrong with me, wanting peace is normal and I didn’t do anything but catch up with an old friend over some tea.

Today, was a day where packing your things and going on a new adventure anywhere, near or far, would have been ideal. It would have made me feel alive, broken routine and changed perspective.

I hope I can do that soon, I want to feel alive because what is the point of life, if you aren’t quiet living?

All of us should incorporate things that make us feel ALIVE into our lives, whatever it may be, because amongst the hustle and bustle we forget that we should do things we want to do, not just do things we have to do!

5 things I am grateful for:

  1. Tea and good friends.
  2. Thoughtful conversations.
  3. My onesie – because it’s cold out and it’s warm.
  4. Support – to anyone who has supported me through life!
  5. Life.

Till again!

Adventure #3.

Sharing another spontaneous adventure in Canberra.

Located a few kilometres from Gungahlin, in the small town named Hall is One Tree Hill. Sitting on the border of New South Wales and the Australian Capital Territory, this hill provides spectacular views of mountain ranges in the distant horizon, the plain grasslands of Canberra, its city and the paved soil paths in preparation for new suburbs to emerge.

Climbing around the mountain, instead of directly upwards, the hike provided a view from all angles which blended well with the clear blue skies and clean crisp air.

The silence was spectacular, only the sound of birds to break it, even then there was a great sense of calmness.

Typical Australian wildlife was also spotted, an echidna and wallaby to add to the experience.

As daylight faded, clear blue, to pink, the sun set to reveal a blanket of orange as darkness approached.

The walk, long and leisurely, picturesque, with clean fresh air, there is no better way to spend an evening at home. 

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Autumn.

Autumn represents inevitable change.

To celebrate my favourite season, I visited Rippon Lea Estate House and Gardens. Here I will share with you the bright sights of nature.

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As soon as you walk through the big iron gates, you are emersed in serenity.

The house stands tall like a centrepiece, but the surroundings catch your eye.

Every inch is covered with natures flora, beautiful and untouched.