National BestFriend Day.

 

Apparently, yesterday (8th of June) was National Best Friend’s Day so I thought it would be nice to write a post to remember and thank my best friends through the years.

I recently scrapped the idea that you can only have one best friend. It was limiting and in actual fact, I had many good friends who are all important to me and who all the deserve the label of ‘best friend’.

Growing up I never had many friends, I was very shy and never approached anyone unless talked to.

Today, I want to thank the one friend who broke my shell and helped me shine through with confidence. I believe that meeting her was life changing for me, the course of my whole life changed because I was transformed as a person. I was finally not afraid to be me. I thank you from the bottom of my heart for giving me everything by just being you.

Next, to the friends that listen and give me logical and honest advice – you help me out of the deepest of wells by giving nothing but an ear.

To the friends, whom I can talk for hours about everything but people – you are gems, you inspire me and show me the goodness in this world. Just by communicating your thoughts and ideas about the world, not the individual people in it.

To the friends who are far, but feel so close – how we manage to bridge continents and have a solid relationship, is beyond me. Not everyone can find the time to tend to those who are not physically present – for that you are special.

To the friends who I can have countless adventures with, whether it is travelling, hikes or visiting the newest cafes, thank you for sharing your wanderlust with me.

To my boyfriend for being all those friends in one – I appreciate every moment.

And lastly, to my sisters, who were my first best friends, who will continue to always be now and forever.

Happy National BestFriend Day!

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5 things I am grateful for today:

The Sun – you came out today, and you decided to stay, shining through my window and warming up my room!

Leaves – I just love looking at leaves in the wind, it is so calming.

All my friends!

Past self – I often find that my past self is a lot more organised than I give her credit for, making the self now have less work!

The library – you are so warm and calm!

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Mothers.

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To the strongest women, I dedicate this post to you.

You are all inspirational. The sacrifices you make, the hardships you encounter and how you continue to love endlessly and unconditionally through it all, I am yet to understand. 

From the moment you decide to have a child, you give yourself up as a person and you become two people, a difficult but empowering transition that many women of this world choose to make.

Sometimes, I think of my own mother, all the times she has had to remain strong for her children, the emotional strength she must have to continually love and smile to prove to her children that everything is alright.

I do not disregard the role of fathers, who make an equal contribution to their children, to those fathers who fill the gap of absent mothers. To those mothers, who are not mothers by blood but through love and compassion. To those sisters and brothers who are more like mothers to siblings when parents are missing. To anyone who has had to love, care and support a child, you are champions.

Happy Mother’s Day! Without you, we would not be!

5 things I am grateful for:

  1. My mother
  2. Homemade coffee – was good if not better than cafe coffee.
  3. Old family photos
  4. Sisters – during difficult times, who else would I turn to.
  5. Boyfriend – for always being supportive and kind.

 

Acceptance.

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26th of January 2017 Chinese New Year Festival in Melbourne – Decorated in bright red lights, the banks of Yarra River glittered as people gathered to celebrate the year of the Rooster. 

Growing up in a western culture is particularly difficult when you are ethnic.

You are often stuck between who your parents want you to be and who you want to be – a construct of you that is a mix between your past, culture and traditions intertwined with the open mindedness and acceptance of modern western culture.

To my parents most things I do are wrong. If it wasn’t what they were used to, how they were brought up or what they saw around them, it was wrong. I get it, thats their frame of reference.

Because of this divide, I often struggled with acceptance. Feeling accepted by my parents is something I will never gain, a permanent hole in my life that I will always need to filled. Coming at their loss, they will never really know me. They will only know the part of me they want to know which is also the part of me I only show. 

Throughout history humanity has worked hard to be accepted. Usually women, those of colour, different religions or races have fought with honour to feel accepted. Today we are still fighting. 

I am sure each and every one of us has an acceptance battle of our own. Feeling accepted lets you belong. A sense of belonging is vital for emotional wellbeing.

Is there a way we can all feel accepted without receiving external confirmation of this in our everyday lives? If there is I would love to know.

I would love to live knowing that my parents love all of me for who I am, not just the part that turned out the way they wanted.

I think my children will have it easier. I will strive to make it easier for them. This mental struggle, being pushed and pulled between two worlds is exhausting and unnecessary. I want to cultivate an environment where my children can express their feelings, talk about their concerns and be treated like adults when they are and to feel accepted for whoever they turn out to be. Kids are a couple of years down the track for me but I am so ready to mesh two brilliant cultures that have enriched me, find the best parts and propel them into the future. 

I hope that each and every one us teaches our kids to be better, to accept differences, to respect others and grow in a way to create a more peaceful future. 

Make love not war. 

5 things I am grateful for today:

  1. Letters – I used to write a lot of letters to a close friend of mine a few years back, I spent all of today re reading the letters she sent me, every word brought me back in time and comforted me.
  2. To be alive.
  3. This painting I have on my bed room wall – Ts a picture of autumn, mostly read, orange and yellow leaves with a dirt path. A single bicycle rider riding away. For some reason this picture relaxes me whenever I look at it. My sister bought it for my birthday, it is beautiful.
  4. Nature
  5. Parents – Despite our differences, not a day goes by where I don’t think of the hardships and sacrifices they have been through so I could have this life.

Till Tomorrow.

Sisters.

 

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Distance makes the heart grow fonder.

This statement is true for me. I feel like it took me 23 years to figure out who my truest best friends are. This whole time they were right in front of me.

I have fond childhood memories of my sisters and I have some ugly ones too, not too ugly but general sibling rivalry. As we got older I think it was each others unique but annoying habits that bothered us the most, all three of us vastly different from one another although raised almost identically by our parents.

I always shared my friendship troubles through my schooling life with my older sister, I come home and I vent. My sister was in her final years of school experiencing a lot of pressure and expectations and here I was rambling about my life. I don’t think I knew much about her then but I know that she listened to everything I said. I don’t remember her responses but the listening she did made all the difference to my life. Looking back I understand the importance of such a small act and I appreciate that now. 

I don’t have many memories of my younger sister, as at the time I was young too. I know that she was stubborn and she still is but she has evolved dramatically in the last few years, I couldn’t be more proud of her. She isn’t very affectionate, none of us are, at least not in a ‘i love you’, lets hug each other all the time kind of way, but we talk, we fight and no matter what we got, we always shared it into 3.

My parents were always against junk food (thank you for feeding us fresh fruits and vegetables), so when we did get our hands on something sweet, we divide it into 3. I remember once cutting a lollipop into 3, an impossible task but we all got almost evenly cut pieces, I think the kitchen floor got some too. One time there was a bit of coca cola left after a party, I took a calculator and measuring cup out, and distributing 3 equal quantities for us to enjoy.

I know laying it out like that sounds like we were deprived children but we never were. We all learnt a very important quality that is present in all of us despite our differences and that is to always share. On a deeper level, to always think of others, be selfless and know that there is always enough to go around.

My sisters are lifelong best friends, who will always be there for me no matter what. As my dad always says ‘you have to look out for one another, we won’t always be there’, I think he has taught us well on how to. 

5 things I am grateful for:

  1. My sisters.
  2. Education – I am so thankful to be educated, sadly there are so many in this modern world who are still illetrate which results in so many disadvantages.
  3. Afternoon naps.
  4. Nature – Today is a lovely blue skied day with a cool breeze.
  5. Colouring in book trend.

Till Tomorrow.