Disheartened.

 

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9th January 2017 Canberra Australia – Mt. Painter Lookout

Being a student is hard. There are so many things you are expected to do at this age. To mention a few – have an education, have multiple years of experience before you graduate in order to land a job (realistic right…?), be competitive, have a social life, financially support yourself, find love and learn to be a grown up.

Obviously, the things mentioned above don’t apply to everyone, but right now the expectation is there for me. Some kids manage to do all this and I have no idea how but I am proud of them. For the rest of us, it can be extremely overwhelming. This is one of those times.

I have a casual job but during the later and early months of the year they don’t have much work, so I haven’t worked in about 3 months. I have had my own income since I was 15 and from a young age learnt to fend for myself and only ask my parents for money when I really needed it. It helped me value money and appreciate my parents support when I needed it.

The past two years I’ve had to ask my parents for money as I decided to move away from home to do my Masters. It is almost impossible these days to pay for rent, bills, food, textbooks and life in general while studying and working a few hours a week.

Since I am currently on holidays, it would be the best time to save up money. I have been putting off applying for jobs due to part laziness, part knowing that I probably won’t get the job after all the effort it requires and also because I haven’t had a good feeling about working in general. I haven’t come across a job I want to apply for and thinking about it makes my stomach turn in anxiousness.

I have never had a job for the sake of having a job. I have always enjoyed and loved the job because of the learning experience, the people or the work itself. I haven’t quite found a job that makes me feel good inside in a long time, that disheartens me.

This morning I woke up and decided to print some resumes & start applying. I had a good feeling.

Sadly, everywhere I asked had no vacancies. I left disheartened, my instincts are never usually wrong.

It isn’t anyone’s fault, I know that everything happens for a reason. I don’t think anything in my life had happened due to coincidence and I have always been able to find a good reason why when I look back. This is one of those times, I have to be patient. 

5 things I am grateful for:

  1. Birds – they always sounds so happy!
  2. Whoever discovered knitting – I decided to make myself a case for my kindle as opposed to buying one and I finally finished it today!
  3. Washing machines – Seriously, how smelly would our clothes be and we would be slaving away hand washing everything.
  4. Nature
  5. Vloggers – thank you for sharing your tips, tricks and interesting life with the rest of the world.
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